the dentist place

i went to the dentist.

i found this place in costa mesa, in an outdoor shopping mall. i think it's called "the balms". or is it the palms.

i was drawn to the place for apparent reason. the ad post said: "exchange special friendship." or something like that i didn't recall.

as soon as i walked in there i was led to a cell room. i walked out and about to see what was going on in the other rooms. some indian woman was helping another lady put jewelries all over her body. i walked to the next room, and one of the nurses at this dentist place started telling me about her life, how she ended up there and all. all the sudden i had an urge to cry but i managed to holding it in anyway--confused and not knowing what to do with my life.

i walked out of the dentist to shop around. and then i saw grandpa standing there waiting for me. he had 2 puddings in his hand, one was for him and one was for me. i managed to hold on to this moment a minute longer.. even though i felt it shifting away because i was almost waking. i wrote "i love grandpa" to him and told him so before the dream left me.


and there, that was that. i walked back to the dentist place, which was now structured behind a grand, locked golden door, resembling a chinese temple-style palace entrance. i couldn't enter in anymore for it was closed and locked..





0123 dejavu.. i was at pasadena with ying and the dentist was located in a shopping center that looks exactly like one mall hallway there.

long beach apartment by the pch

jacuzzi. daytime.

a friend, i didn't even know who, had companied me while at it. but she left later and left me alone all by myself.

a group of some extremely stupid, obnoxious teenagers were playing in the swimming pool. i was in the jacuzzi by myself in the very corner, struggling to move an inch of my body so i can get out of there. somehow every part of my body were numb. (i knew i wasn't stoned) then, too lazy to deal with it, i fell asleep.

i woke up and i was still in the jacuzzi. everybody else had left. i was all alone again. i went back to my dark and dull apartment. it's got a dim burnt yellow tone barely lightening the place up. there were nothing in there except a ghetto, postcard size tv and a mini refrigerator. the ceiling was right on top of my head.

i coudn't stand this shit anymore.

teeth crisis

my teeth were all loose.

i kept telling myself that i was dreaming, but i really wasn't.
i tried not to move my mouth to keep my teeth stable,
but eventually they all fell out and apart,
turned into powder, then into ashes.